Ideal Weight: The Life Long Challenge

Though I have never gained back enough weight to ever be considered fat again, there have been times when I had to "diet" because I was heavier than, my personal definition of, my ideal weight. My "ideal weight" has also changed as I have gotten older.

I spent the majority of my twenties at my ideal weight of around 122 lbs. I had my son at age 25, gained 30 lbs during the pregnancy, and then went right back down to 122 lbs but there was some regular weight gain throughout that 10 year span and I had to "diet" every now and then. My scary weight was 130 lbs. If I went anywhere near 130 lbs. I would have to lose some weight. I usually gained weight anytime I went on a vacation where there was an unlimited supply of food like on a cruise. I always allowed myself to enjoy a buffet because I knew that I was capable of successfully and easily losing the weight.

Now that I am deep in my thirties and have had two additional children, 130 lbs isn't so scary anymore. I am comfortable as long as my stomach is flat, my legs are toned and my weight is between 127 to 132 lbs.

I can't believe that I just admitted that I am knocking on forties door. I am usually in, big time, denial of my true age. Probably because I still feel so young and because I am blessed to not really look my age. We are all blessed because women and men are no longer considered old at thirty anymore. Actresses like Halle Berry and Jennifer Anniston are, also, making forty look darn good. I am thankful to be alive at a time such as this.

I guess my point is that weight will probably be a life long issue for me. Although most people think that I am naturally thin, I always consider the consequences of what I am about to eat and then I either go for it or I don't.

In my next entry, I will list the weight loss techniques that have worked for me over the years.

Losing Weight: Defying The Haters

When I finally reached a weight that I was comfortable with and could no longer be called a "fat girl", a funny thing happened. Many of the people who teased or chastised me for being over weight began "worrying" about my "sudden" weight loss. Instead of being happy for they had the nerve to start worrying. My own brother, who made fun of me everyday when I was heavier, asked my mom to take me to a doctor to make sure I wasn't malnourished. My aunt, who always had plenty to say about my "big butt", told me that my face was getting "too small". Some of my heavier acquaintances suddenly became very nurturing, sharing snacks and junk food with me, every chance they got.

When you first lose weight you look very different to other people. The change is gradual to you but to others, who may not see you that often, it seems like it happened overnight. On the other hand, it took me quite some time to accept that I wasn't overweight anymore. I continued to wear my larger size clothes for a while, chaffing my stomach with the belt that I had to tighten to keep those big pants up. My mind took it's time accepting that I had actually lost the weight.

There was absolutely nothing sudden about my weight loss. It was a carefully thought out plan. I worked hard for it and the haters kept me strong. Looking back now, I admire my resolve but I know that having some key, supportive people on my side, made losing weight one hundred times easier.

My parents never once called me too fat or too skinny. They never once admonished me for the amount of food that I put on my plate. They truly loved me unconditionally and their love gave me the strength to do what I did, on my own, at 14 years old.

You have to lose weight for your own good because pleasing everyone else is impossible.

The Weight Loss: Goodbye Invisible Girl

My life changed completely after I lost weight. I was just a freshman in high school when the great weight loss occured. Prior to losing the weight, it was as though I was invisible, at least to anyone of the opposite sex who was outside of my circle of friends. I didn't realize it then because I had nothing to compare it to. Maybe I was slightly aware of it because my slimmer girlfriends got attention from male strangers while I got none. Thankfully, I didn't suffer too much because I had a "great personality" and had quite a few friends, both male and female, throughout elementary and junior high school. Of course, all the boys just liked me "for a friend".

I was over weight from about third grade to the middle of my freshman year. I remember deciding that I didn't want to go through high school fat. I cut out all of the junk food, giving up the Dipsey Doodles, Cheese Doodles and Kit Kats and I started putting less food on my plate at dinner before people were talking "portion control". I also got my self up everyday and started running up the steps from the 7th to the 15th floor of my parents Brooklyn Coop apartment building. The next thing I knew, the weight melted off of me and my life changed.

I was no longer invisible. Young men and some, not so young, men began noticing me in the street, on the train and everywhere. Guys, who I had known all of my life, were suddenly acting like they wanted to date me instead of just being friends. Even the boy who I had a serious crush on for forever started crushing on me too and eventually gave me my first kiss. Yes, my first kiss came incredibly late. I was 16 years old. That was much later than every one of my girlfriends. They had no idea because I lied and told them that I had kissed my crush way before this. When he finally did kiss me, I had no one to tell.

The point of this introduction to my life is to assure you all that there is a point to sacrificing and losing the weight. You will experience a change and notice a difference in your life and it most likely will be for the better. You will suddenly "appear" before the eyes of people who just didn't see you before and it will feel great.

Does this mean that most people are shallow and judge each other by their appearance?
"Yes."

Should you miss out on the great experience of being healthier, feeling better about yourself and getting a whole lot of new attention?
"Heck No!!!"